Category Archives: Mental health

Anorexia and Christianity

Hey Guys, it’s Char! How are you! It’s been a long time and I apologise for that!

I wanted to write this blog about my experience with an Eating disorder as a Christian. This can be such a taboo subject in religious communities but it really shouldn’t be so I am here to shed some light on this topic. I talked about this on my Instagram but by recommendation, I decided to do a more detailed blog on here.

As some of you guys now, I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa, a restrictive eating disorder, when I was 12 years old, 6 months after I joined my current church. My church youth leaders were indeed the first people to realise I was struggling with an Ed, however, I hoped against hope that no one else would find out. I felt so ashamed. So ungodly. And it really hindered my recovery after hospital.

Some of my previous youth leaders ridiculed me for asking questions and opening up about so called taboo subjects that I have experienced or have been wondering about. This led my mindset to become secretly curious and also distressing. Therefore, I still struggle to open up to church goers, even though I trust them.

There is a controversial myth that an eating disorder is a sin to many, many people in these communities. Whilst this is most probably false teaching, it really, really hurt me as a Christian. Not only had I just got out of hospital, I was a healthy weight and I felt like a fake, adding more to the feeling of invalidity in my disorder.

Eating disorders are NOT US. They are extremely addictive,almost like a drug and lust for control. Illness is not a sin and an ED Is an illness, not a choice. Therefore, it is not ok to do someone over in the context of sin just because they have an ED.

Jesus paid the price for all illness, all sin, of all time, just the once on the cross.

Once I realised this, I began to heal. I began to open up more, even sharing a deeply personal testimony at my baptism. By no means am I saying I am 100% healed or that it’s easy, but Jesus is my foundation and he will carry you while you work things out.

 

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death.

Romans 8;1-2

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Feel free to check out this post on my Instagram @positivelycharlotte.

God bless and keep safe,

Lotts xx

What I wish I knew before starting recovery; 💋💋

Hey beautiful people! Its Lotts,

Eating Disorders are hard. But you know that. Recovery is hard. But you know that. whether you’re new to recovery or have been in recovery for 20 years, we all struggle and it’s OK. However, I’ve had an influx of questions relating to what I wish I had known when starting recovery. So ya gal came through and today I’m spilling the tea. So grab a snack if you feel comfortable or just grab something that makes you feel calm and I’ll take you through some of my most valuable points in Eating Disorder recovery.

Your eating Disorder is not you- I don’t know about you, but I definitely believed this thought to be true. However, I hate to break it to you, but you can never truly delve into recovery if you keep believing that your eating disorder= you/your identity. Your identity is not only shown by your Eating Disorder. Why would you want to let go of something you’ve been defined by? But baby girl, cut the ties. Find your identity beyond your disorder. Are you a dancer, a child of God, a good person, a sister? I urge you to find out.  You’re worth it darling.

Anorexia/bulimia ect is not your friend- Imma be real with y’all. I know it seems at times  like Anorexia is your only friend. After all, she/it they (Insert what you prefer your Ed to be known as) has made you push everyone else away right? So it is natural to believe that the voice in your head is the only one who cares about you. Spoiler Alert; your disorder is not your friend. The manipulation, the lies, It’s not a friendly gesture, Your eating Disorder doesn’t want the best for you. The people you’ve been pushing away do. I know it may seem scary to push your Ed away and bring your friends closer. But I implore you to do this. It makes you feel so liberated. It’s worth the battle of “Friends” babe. It’ll  be OK, I promise.

Recovery is not a linear process; OK, this may seem very obvious. I know you’re probably thinking, yeah, yeah, we know. However, in the beginning of recovery, we often want it to be an absolute fairy tale, everything to go all perfect and dandy. The reality of it is; Relapse may happen. In fact, it might be inevitable. Whilst relapse is not something to strive for, they do not mean you have failed, it just means that you are struggling. And that’s OK. It is so OK to struggle so please don’t for a second think that this isnt OK or normal. It’s OK not to be OK.

It might feel as though you’re getting worse before you get better- Ok, so here’s the tea. No one is ever fully “excited” about starting recovery. You may have been forced into so called Quasi Recovery, or maybe you have decided to do this for yourself.  At first it’s gonna feel like It’s all gonna be over soon and you’re not going to have to fight. However, this could not be further from the truth. Although you ARE STRONG ENOUGH, we all have had to go through raised urges, more fear, more distress than we ever did due to our Eating Disorder. This is to be expected and is completely normal. HOWEVER, you are strong enough to fight these urges. You can do this lovely one. I believe in you.

Your own, individual struggle is valid- I know you guys are probably all comparing your recovery to either a recovery account on instagram, Tumblr or IRL. How many times has everyone else been tubed?What was their lowest weight? How many days can they go without food? I know it’s hard to accept. But those people are not you. You have your own struggles, they have theirs. The only person that truly knows your struggles is YOU!! no ones recovery is the same so please try not to compare your journey to others, however, I understand that this may be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. If you take one thing from this blog; YOUR STRUGGLE IS VALID BABE. 

You will be Ok-Yes, It’s cliche I know but, this time in your life will end, it will pass. You are going to be ok. And I am sending my love to you in recovery precious one.

Hope this blog helped you sweet one,

sending LOVE,

Lotts

Image may contain: drink and food

 

 

What we want you to know- Living with An Eating Disorder;

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Hey beautiful people! I’ve decided to come back to this writing Melarchy after a long hard brain frazzle and this topic couldn’t be any closer to my, and im sure many others of you’s heart.

I try to just smile and laugh it off when someone tells me to “just cheer up, to “just stop worrying, “just eat” “others have it worse than you ect, but in reality, i want to throw wet sponges in their faces and pretend i’m at a summer fete’. Is that going to get me anywhere?No probably not… But hey! It’s fun i guess.

Mental Illnesses, eating disorders such as Anorexia or bulimia, lets say, are so incredibly stigmatised nowadays that it is honestly breaks my heart. Along with the stigma, which is now rapidly rising, peoples misconceptions of the fear, the hurt, the pressure and the strive that suffers endure in their day to day lives.

Below are a list; Compiled by me and some lovely fighters over on my social media, of what we  believe it would be helpful if you knew. If you have ever believed or still believe any of these myths and comments, please DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP OVER IT! We are all human and we aren’t perfect. This post is purely to raise awareness and is not aimed at anyone in particular. Names of people will not be given and everyone will remain Anonymous for the sake of privacy.

“My Eating Disorder is not for attention. It is not something i have chosen to do to myself. I would not wish Anorexia on anyone, not even my worst enemy.”

“I don’t just want to be thinner, I never wanted to be Thin. It is not about being thin at all. Losing weight was my coping mechanism and i used it when i felt like everything else was spiralling out of control.”

“Eating disorders do not make us vain. It’s not just about loving ourselves a bit too much. I developed such a dislike to my body and feared that it was constantly changing. Mirrors were my safety net to fall back on if everything got too much.”

“An eating disorder is a Mental Illness with some physical side affects not a physical illness with mental side effects. I will not always look like i’m struggling, but it doesn’t mean I’m not.”

“I wish people knew that eating disorders don’t care who you are. They do not discriminate against anyone, unlike Donald Trump….”

“My Eating Disorder will not just go away overnight, everyday, I wake Up, and I have to continue to fight, again, and again.”

“I wish you knew how terrifying it is to have a disorder that centres around the very substance that keeps you alive and the substance that you need to live and exist in this world as a platonic soul. It is devastating.”

“Eating disorders do not only affect us at the table. They take over your entire life. It messes up how you see nearly everything. Even your Existence.”

” From day to day, we can go from 0-100000 in 5 seconds. One minute i can be watching Matt Perry and Jennifer Aniston arguing over a game of poker and 5 seconds later, i’m panicking over tomatoes and water. It is absolutely exhausting”

 

Honey, i’m so glad you took time out of your day to read this blog as it means so much to me and so many others. If you or someone you know is affected by anything mentioned above, please reach out to someone. it gets better. It Does. I promise.

BIG LOVE,

Char